tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89713570619988046692024-02-18T21:09:29.421-06:00Reflections on life and lossMy mother suddenly and unexpectedly passed away on January 19, 2008. This is my attempt to write about my personal journey of dealing with life after loss and how my personal faith sustains me.Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01666146566253325603noreply@blogger.comBlogger73125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8971357061998804669.post-78905787069963729112009-12-22T21:29:00.001-06:002009-12-22T21:34:01.825-06:00New blog-homeI'm moving to a wordpress blog. Doesn't that sound fun? You can find me here: <a href="http://amyofwinsted.wordpress.com/">http://amyofwinsted.wordpress.com/</a>Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01666146566253325603noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8971357061998804669.post-80845174224745542192009-08-13T12:27:00.003-05:002009-08-13T12:36:25.279-05:00Interesting discussionInteresting discussion <a href="http://twentytwowords.com/2009/08/13/after-their-spouse-dies-why-do-men-tend-to-remarry-sooner-than-women%E2%80%A6-or-don%E2%80%99t-they/">here</a>. I chimed in. I didn't link to our website.<br /><br />Anyway, it got me thinking. Why is it that no one from church asks my dad over for dinner now that my mom is gone?Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01666146566253325603noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8971357061998804669.post-48378230712155407772009-06-11T14:59:00.003-05:002009-06-11T15:03:03.862-05:00I plan to post here again some timeI haven't known exactly how to process my life in the context of not having my mom around. I did had an inspiration that other day. Hopefully, I can flesh it out and post something within the next week.Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01666146566253325603noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8971357061998804669.post-69032643600244725092009-01-22T08:57:00.002-06:002009-01-22T09:06:00.785-06:00Elaboration on my thoughts on the previous postI thought I would clarify my thoughts on the quote I included in the previous post before moving on from it. Here's my take on it. I don't believe that it's sound theology to say that God would heal someone because if He didn't it could cause a lot of people to lose faith. I believe that God will do whatever brings Him most glory and accomplishes His will. That's not an easy answer either. I'll admit that. But it does explain why God may answer some prayers in the way that we would hope and others in ways that we don't much better.<br /><br />I believe the poster was sincere in her faith and her statement. She's in the middle of a difficult situation. However, I would caution anyone who is giving advice to someone else in a crisis situation to be careful with statements like that. I believe with absolute certainty that God can heal and intervene in any situation. I don't know that He will choose to do so in the way that I want. That doesn't mean my faith is less strong.<br /><br />Which is a stronger evidence of Christ's miraculous work in a person's life: A person miraculously healed (here on earth) of terminal cancer or wife that, though losing her husband, continues to praise God in the midst of incredible circumstances? Both scenarios are powerful and can have equal impact in increasing one's faith.Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01666146566253325603noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8971357061998804669.post-76849850397338959132009-01-20T08:15:00.003-06:002009-01-20T08:17:45.173-06:00Post somethingI need to post something. Yesterday marked the one year anniversary of my mom's death. I'll write more later.<br /><br />I read this statement on someone's blog this morning:<br /><br /><blockquote>And we believe with everything in us that she WILL be healed. Because we<br />know that God has the opportunity to show His power and love in that<br />healing.<br />And to NOT answer would be to have the chance to have people lose<br />faith in the<br />power of prayer.</blockquote><p> </p><p>The context is that their newborn baby is seriously ill. Anyway, what do you think of a statement like that?</p>Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01666146566253325603noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8971357061998804669.post-18332303274673882432009-01-10T08:32:00.002-06:002009-01-10T08:39:23.348-06:00Audrey Caroline SmithIt's been a year since Angie Smith received the news that her baby daughter wouldn't live long (if at all) after her birth. She posted a video yesterday sharing some of the final moments their family shared with Audrey Caroline before she went home to Jesus. The images and the words are powerful and a beautiful testimony.<br /><br /><a href="http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/2009/01/mourning-and-dancing.html">http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/2009/01/mourning-and-dancing.html</a>Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01666146566253325603noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8971357061998804669.post-15766120451660533622009-01-05T21:04:00.000-06:002009-01-05T21:04:29.904-06:00Almost a year<div style="MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; TEXT-ALIGN: center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYvnbA8SPhyREAy5otOKWQNs9TrtzrJ8-p7V2Dq931CSJLSzHCEPS-sm7X0D9gN_NHvKe14q04RTE0LfanYZU0TvlSBUc1Z-JHSImi4LMBvghVlbwuay21Xbs7ypUefT5De_8zZwAlMiw/s1600-h/IMG_0275.JPG"><img alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYvnbA8SPhyREAy5otOKWQNs9TrtzrJ8-p7V2Dq931CSJLSzHCEPS-sm7X0D9gN_NHvKe14q04RTE0LfanYZU0TvlSBUc1Z-JHSImi4LMBvghVlbwuay21Xbs7ypUefT5De_8zZwAlMiw/s400/IMG_0275.JPG" border="0" /></a> </div><br />I miss having Mom's hands holding the kids. Almost a year has passed.<div style='clear:both; text-align:CENTER'><a href='http://picasa.google.com/blogger/' target='ext'><img src='http://photos1.blogger.com/pbp.gif' alt='Posted by Picasa' style='border: 0px none ; padding: 0px; background: transparent none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: initial; -moz-background-origin: initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: initial;' align='middle' border='0' /></a></div>Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01666146566253325603noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8971357061998804669.post-40117467569568937712008-10-21T12:24:00.003-05:002008-10-21T12:26:21.099-05:00Ethan quote"Moms don't go away".<br /><br /><br /><br />I love that in Ethan's world, I am always there or will be soon.Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01666146566253325603noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8971357061998804669.post-66306770695961387002008-09-27T20:02:00.005-05:002008-09-27T20:16:15.667-05:00Audrey's BirthdayAudrey turns 2 tomorrow.<br /><br /><br />It's bittersweet since Mom is gone. 1/3 of her life has happened without my mom around. I'm feeling sad about it today. Life has gone on and I don't really want it to. It would have been nice to have her around today to see Audrey playing, talking and enjoying life. It would have been fun to see her open a gift that Mom had spent time looking for and specifically picked for her.<br /><br /><br />I know as Audrey's mom I'm supposed to think she's pretty, but I really think I would think she was gorgeous even if I wasn't her mom. Look at this beauty:<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqgFHfhQ4v3i5L6rpiU9j4cG4F98bfya2u_G3Kcn_Doe3dPJp6EC7Fqb4eFzZdHWV1YvACjBnP7aJN7BWfH55NYhwJ_o8yonhtXeY24rKnHh_NwfLtC7FB-tYXoRU0CkG8yAW5iCihyphenhyphen4M/s1600-h/IMG_3962.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5250874538530990738" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqgFHfhQ4v3i5L6rpiU9j4cG4F98bfya2u_G3Kcn_Doe3dPJp6EC7Fqb4eFzZdHWV1YvACjBnP7aJN7BWfH55NYhwJ_o8yonhtXeY24rKnHh_NwfLtC7FB-tYXoRU0CkG8yAW5iCihyphenhyphen4M/s320/IMG_3962.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuBAJ8IJoeBEPLl2ZrsEg22PxaEQqUtK6z_2b8sIQ599_x1wfCm00x9PaXCi1f_9emqUtolQBsPlpFBVPg88OicJziigliXhR77WwIs_RZaIGGSTK-FxAxuiyXEnODxDU5qAV1wfST-tM/s1600-h/IMG_3966.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5250874541906346546" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuBAJ8IJoeBEPLl2ZrsEg22PxaEQqUtK6z_2b8sIQ599_x1wfCm00x9PaXCi1f_9emqUtolQBsPlpFBVPg88OicJziigliXhR77WwIs_RZaIGGSTK-FxAxuiyXEnODxDU5qAV1wfST-tM/s320/IMG_3966.JPG" border="0" /></a>Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01666146566253325603noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8971357061998804669.post-80911921820710069292008-09-09T17:50:00.003-05:002008-09-09T18:23:49.352-05:00RemarriageWhat a provocative title, huh? This post is a collection of my thoughts and responses to the question, "Do you think that your dad will get remarried someday?"<br /><br />Short answer: Yes. My father is young, handsome and a very good catch.<br /><br />Very long and rambling answer follows:<br /><br />I read somewhere that men who lose a spouse marry faster than women in similar circumstances. There are a couple of different factors in play, but the thing that stuck out to me about the one article I read was that a relatively short period of time between the death of the men's spouses and their remarriage was particularly hard on their daughters. I'm a daughter so that struck a chord with me. The article went on to say that it somehow made it harder for the daughters to work through their grief.<br /><br />Part of me understands how this could be true. I've thought about how I would feel if my father remarried quickly. "Quickly" is a relative term. So, for this purpose, I'll define that as within 2 years of the death of my mom. It would be easy to see that as a statement about my parent's marriage. If Dad were to call me tomorrow and tell me that he found "someone", I would feel like maybe my parent's relationship wasn't as special as I thought it was if he was able to move on so quickly. I would fear that other people would look at the situation and think the same thing.<br /><br />However, the truth is that my mom isn't coming back. Having my father sit around lonely doesn't mean that he loved my mom more than if he were to remarry.<br /><br />Dating and remarriage doesn't have to dishonor the memory of the deceased spouse. It sometimes does in one of two ways: 1) The surviving spouse looks for a "replacement" to fill the shoes of their deceased spouse. They want someone who looks, talks, acts, and thinks just like them. Or 2) they swing way to the other side of the spectrum. The surviving spouse was so in love in their marriage that they have resigned themselves that they will never have a relationship as meaningful as that again so they aren't choosy. They just want someone to do laundry, cook supper and provide companionship. I would have a very difficult time dealing with either one of those scenarios.<br /><br />The biggest deal breaker for me would be for my father to pursue a relationship with someone who didn't share a genuine, strong faith in Christ. That would spit in the face of the memory of my mother more than anything I could imagine. I can't even begin to tell you how offended I would be. If my father were to introduce a woman to his grandchildren that he wouldn't want Audrey to grow up to be like, would break my heart. I know it's not my decision to make, but that is the one and only thing that is non-negotiable for me and I would speak up about.<br /><br />So, I guess that's my answer to anyone who might ask. It would be an adjustment, but unless my father was pursuing someone that didn't love the Lord, the adjustment would be managable.Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01666146566253325603noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8971357061998804669.post-54591184995208508062008-09-08T19:50:00.003-05:002008-09-08T20:19:28.286-05:00Childbirth/MotherhoodI became an aunt today for the first time. I didn't do any work to bring my neice, Chloe, into this world and I'm exhausted! Tim and Erica planned to send a text message to friends and family when they checked into the hospital. They sent a message at about 3:00 yesterday.<br /><div>Then we waited.</div><br /><div>And waited.</div><br /><div>After staying up too late and waking my husband numerous times to check his phone for a message and several calls to family to find out if they knew anything, we finally heard from Tim around 9:00am this morning.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>It reminded me of the agony that mother went through when I was in labor with our first child, Ethan. Ethan was due on June 6th or 7th (I don't remember now!), but on April 24th, my water broke and contractions started and nothing would stop it. Nathan and I had told our parents to pray for us. Mom knew that we had been transferred to Abbott, but really didn't have many details other than that. She called later that evening to get an update. It just so happened, that was the very time, I was taken to the delivery room so I told the nurse to tell her we would call her back.</div><br /><div>The message somehow got confused and Mom thought that they said that I had just had the baby. She waited for a call back. Meanwhile, it took me a good 2 hours of pushing to get Ethan out. She waited for 2 hours thinking that I had the baby, and wondering why I wasn't calling. Since I was over 6 weeks from my due date, she was very worried. Mom had delivered me 6 weeks early and 2 years before that, my brother came over 10 weeks early. So, you can imagine the scenarios she was playing out in her head. I had no idea. </div><br /><div>I wish I had known at the time how important it was to my mom to actually be there. Not that she wanted or needed to be in the room. She just wanted to be at the hospital. I felt bad when she relayed her thoughts to me later.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>17 months later, Mom was at my house with me when I went into labor with Audrey. We had gone for a walk and had lunch. I took a short nap. I was still lying down thinking about getting up , when I felt my abdomen jolt. I was pretty sure my water had broke. I called my mom over and told her I was going to get up and make sure. As soon as I sat up, it was obvious. She went into action gathering bags and waking Ethan and buckling him in the van and drove me to the hospital. On the way there she timed my contractions. 1 minute apart... less than a minute apart... "Mom, if you don't slow down gently at this next intersection, the car may stop, but the baby will keep coming". She dropped me off at the front door and waited with Ethan in the lobby to hand him off to my dad when he arrived. By the time she came up to the floor where I was, she could hear Audrey's cries. The nurses assured her she could go in and after Audrey had some bonding time with Nathan and I, Mom got to hold her. </div><br /><div>I know it doesn't sound like that big of a deal, but when my mom delivered my brother 10 weeks early and then me 6 weeks early, she had to wait to have that physical bonding time. They took us away very quickly. My brother was actually flown to another hospital. So, to have the experience of holding her brand new granddaughter less than an hour later, was a tremendous blessing. Here's a picture of Mom and I looking at Audrey in awe while the nurse finished cleaning her up.</div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGZzhCoNLAI-LszXfxhsYrrHX3L1hhk0jBjQwREa7c729G2PAYxwW9Q1OfgUdH1p4HzXlTVrqeS5nXnLsEXzgScX5U1nSde_hG52nneev-RMyxZD-F49_rJX9hs3T2clp0zemQklSQ7Ds/s1600-h/IMG_0063.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5243824676846648930" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGZzhCoNLAI-LszXfxhsYrrHX3L1hhk0jBjQwREa7c729G2PAYxwW9Q1OfgUdH1p4HzXlTVrqeS5nXnLsEXzgScX5U1nSde_hG52nneev-RMyxZD-F49_rJX9hs3T2clp0zemQklSQ7Ds/s320/IMG_0063.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div>Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01666146566253325603noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8971357061998804669.post-77463548473835515052008-08-25T12:17:00.000-05:002008-08-25T12:18:15.736-05:00Did you know?I also have a blog <a href="http://www.thefritzes.net">here</a>?Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01666146566253325603noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8971357061998804669.post-89175762447242352492008-08-25T12:16:00.003-05:002008-08-25T12:17:15.098-05:00More photos from yesterday (click on photo)<table style="width: 194px;"><tbody><tr><td style="background: transparent url(http://picasaweb.google.com/f/img/transparent_album_background.gif) no-repeat scroll left center; height: 194px; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" align="center"><a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/amyhenningfritz/MomSBirthday02"><img src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/amyhenningfritz/SLLn3tDttME/AAAAAAAAAVk/WtGWsSbU9-k/s160-c/MomSBirthday02.jpg" style="margin: 1px 0pt 0pt 4px;" width="160" height="160" /></a></td></tr><tr><td style="text-align: center; font-family: arial,sans-serif; font-size: 11px;"><a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/amyhenningfritz/MomSBirthday02" style="color: rgb(77, 77, 77); font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;">Mom's birthday</a></td></tr></tbody></table>Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01666146566253325603noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8971357061998804669.post-8602348023821474562008-08-24T19:43:00.002-05:002008-08-24T19:50:57.771-05:00Happy Birthday, Mom!<div style="margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBLm5g8gP3RPOqPvDUfogLaY3eu0C9bAwZ6tS2UTyM2U4V7W7QDlIz-4PbMdYsm2q-zBTnYTuWug_W9GWqrzJHOXUmYjw8KEktSucdO2ThgTJSqfULHl3lNBt7Fz6-hJrLl3gddzmWBpg/s1600-h/IMG_3847.JPG"><img alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBLm5g8gP3RPOqPvDUfogLaY3eu0C9bAwZ6tS2UTyM2U4V7W7QDlIz-4PbMdYsm2q-zBTnYTuWug_W9GWqrzJHOXUmYjw8KEktSucdO2ThgTJSqfULHl3lNBt7Fz6-hJrLl3gddzmWBpg/s400/IMG_3847.JPG" border="0" /></a> </div><br />We celebrated Mom's birthday today with a trip to IHOP and then a jaunt over to Fort Snelling to see the gravestones for Mom and Grandpa. It was a great day and we had a lot of fun together. That top picture cracks me up! Ethan is looking away and Audrey has her eyes closed. Oh well. I can't get the other images to upload right now. I'll try again later.<br /><br /><div style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://picasa.google.com/blogger/" target="ext"><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/pbp.gif" alt="Posted by Picasa" style="border: 0px none ; padding: 0px; background: transparent none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" align="middle" border="0" /></a></div>Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01666146566253325603noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8971357061998804669.post-91525435694221993932008-08-12T08:07:00.003-05:002008-08-12T08:13:04.476-05:00Moving onI've felt overwhelmed with the responsibilities of motherhood and continuing to process missing my mom. About a week ago, I started taking an anti-depressant. It seems to be helping a little. I don't feel so "on-edge" or so blue.<br /><br />I have some things to say, but I'm not sure where to start. I'll try to post something later.Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01666146566253325603noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8971357061998804669.post-81961360353907705412008-07-29T21:23:00.002-05:002008-07-29T21:24:38.906-05:00Explanations of painThe Desiring God site had a good article about <a href="http://www.desiringgod.org/Blog/1307_why_god_doesnt_fully_explain_pain/">Why God Doesn't Fully Explain Pain</a>.Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01666146566253325603noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8971357061998804669.post-4735972368371511332008-07-26T20:31:00.002-05:002008-07-26T20:42:51.676-05:00A note from MomI've been working on a Bible study with my sisters-in-law and mother-in-law. We've just finished week two and I'm feeling more engaged in this study than in any other one I've done. I can't really explain it. It has lots of "jumping off" points that lend to really great discussions and conviction.<br /><br />It ocurred to me that I should try to apply some of the things that I was studying. An interesting idea: a person might actually step out and do some of the things they feel God is telling them to do! I amaze myself with my brilliance sometimes. :-) Last week I pulled out a little plastic case full of index cards and wrote down some quotes and verses that I felt God has specifically spoken to me. I posted them around the house.<br /><br />This past Thursday night, I did the same thing. This time I found a little surprise. As I was pulling out the cards, I noticed one had kind of fallen down and gotten crumpled under the others. It looked like it had writing on it.<br /><br />I found this verse: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything with prayer and petition with thanksgiving present your requests to God. And the peace of God that transcends all understanding will guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Phil 4:6-7. It was written in my mom's handwriting because the index cards had been hers. None of the other cards were written on. I can't tell you how awesome that was. It was like a note from God passed to me by my mom. I know that particular passage meant a lot to my mom and it really applies to some situations I've been dealing with lately.Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01666146566253325603noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8971357061998804669.post-13332377351527944882008-07-22T13:50:00.001-05:002008-07-22T13:52:31.547-05:00How to get to HeavenEthan told me that he knew how to get to Heaven. I asked him how and he said that he would use a map.<br /><br />I love that little guy!Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01666146566253325603noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8971357061998804669.post-44641909152236993602008-07-17T20:55:00.002-05:002008-07-17T20:59:12.726-05:00What I'd Like for You to KnowI think I referred to this before- I know that Sara put a link in one of her comments once, but I thought I would revisit it because it came up in on my blog-reader today.<br /><br /><a href="http://rocksinmydryer.typepad.com/shannon/2008/07/what-id-like--4.html">This</a> is a link to a post that Molly Piper wrote in regard to losing her baby. A lot of what she has to say can by applied to most anyone that is dealing with a loss.<br /><br />Thanks for sticking with me!Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01666146566253325603noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8971357061998804669.post-84385742249121529602008-07-15T13:22:00.003-05:002008-07-15T13:59:22.166-05:00Almost 6 monthsThings I didn't know about death and grief before:<br /><br /><br /><br />1. Some people that I didn't know very well before have been more understanding about the process of losing my mom than people that I've known for a long time.<br /><br /><br /><br />2. It makes people uncomfortable so they don't ask me questions about my mom- even when given a perfect opportunity. For example, I had a conversation like this recently:<br /><br /><br /><br />What are you doing tomorrow?<br /><br /><br /><br />I'm going to Fort Snelling to bury my mother's ashes.<br /><br /><br /><br />Oh.<br /><br /><br /><br />That is seriously the only response this person gave me. People are so afraid of saying the wrong thing that they don't say anything. It's okay if you ask me about how I'm doing and I start to cry. It doesn't mean you did something wrong.<br /><br /><br /><br />3. Sometimes, like right now, I want to run away.<br /><br /><br /><br />4. My life has been completely changed and most people who see me have no idea.<br /><br /><br /><br />5. In some ways, the more time passes, the sader it can be. This is especially true in regard to my children. I see them growing and changing and really miss my mom's presence in their life. I want to show her how incredibly smart Ethan is and how much Audrey has grown from a baby to a little girl. This is the change that has happened since January:<br /><br /><br /><p><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5223316831839563314" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiti1zUyYkj5jVle3vZUHew0mM7R20ZTCfY5JBwaZw5r8NCklI8LBRPeWH9uTNJB2HuFx7kOAjERD_Wt1Df8sBfJ0rCNptjMjg0TD3WexO83LoCupxEyEIEj6G9FiSMb4rADU6Q8IIOVXA/s320/IMG_2846.JPG" border="0" /></p><p> </p><p><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5223316839681863938" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBIjYVBiyjNH6LZndGSGBs-BUtX86KlX3dlwV6t_zBU6NYppt7vJ0aElUFFE2ZAHj522CdCyay_TLG5wMK1REGWoG7qz_xPvTHhgR9VlkX64AyjpM1eX4DhrGB3EwRKVCbz_TcTMPTlJA/s320/IMG_3720.JPG" border="0" /></p>So, I've been feeling sad lately.Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01666146566253325603noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8971357061998804669.post-87152373717862850922008-07-07T20:30:00.007-05:002008-07-07T21:26:17.154-05:00Fort Snelling Service<p align="left"><div align="center"><br /><br /><br /></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv_Ij-8lyRUeHiSKqxJB8Yw-o-1-c31FcUq_KT41FvZ6FcGeWD8U1-srOyrj1QffpQodGHFBuWBL88tJIlelajXOKIDdcbkohmtPxD495-EdJ6irb3w5P5Y8mfumq_1Jx6bib9QHjmnqM/s1600-h/IMG_3697.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5220459419007486882" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv_Ij-8lyRUeHiSKqxJB8Yw-o-1-c31FcUq_KT41FvZ6FcGeWD8U1-srOyrj1QffpQodGHFBuWBL88tJIlelajXOKIDdcbkohmtPxD495-EdJ6irb3w5P5Y8mfumq_1Jx6bib9QHjmnqM/s320/IMG_3697.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEvSF7rMejHzqW4LFFlh2YbzSTVcSiiGS22ewI3ltmTfzQ9dfUoFa4ijnuZ8SiNoxphR-KxVDoYG3h_VorgHJyjWhpu0yIxTY3UP5K4OPIgpK8nhmnt4jjbmOoD1zcztZ-metvOOq5vrA/s1600-h/IMG_3702.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5220459428236179890" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEvSF7rMejHzqW4LFFlh2YbzSTVcSiiGS22ewI3ltmTfzQ9dfUoFa4ijnuZ8SiNoxphR-KxVDoYG3h_VorgHJyjWhpu0yIxTY3UP5K4OPIgpK8nhmnt4jjbmOoD1zcztZ-metvOOq5vrA/s320/IMG_3702.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><div align="left">This morning was the internment service for both my mother and my grandfather. Grandpa Rosenfelt passed away last August and Mom's death came just 5 months later. Both were cremated which is why we had some time to wait to do the internment. Those who serve in the military and their spouses are allowed to be buried at a national cemetary. Grandpa Rosenfelt served in the army (I believe). Mom was never in the military, but Dad served in the navy. That's why we were able to do her burial there as well.<br /></div>As you probably read from my previous post, there are a lot of people buried at Fort Snelling National cemetary. They do many burials every day so they don't allow for long services. They have a very specific way it all works. We drove to a designated place and then a car came to lead us to the place where we would do the service. The Memorial Rifle Squad was there and shot off their guns in salute to Grandpa's military service, they presented a flag to Grandma and a bugler played taps. After that part was finished, Pastor Bert shared some scripture and prayed with us. Fort Snelling only allows 15 minutes to pack everything in. It was short, but I understand that it's a logistics thing. Even with understanding that, it still seemed hard to really wrap my brain around what was really happening. <p></p><p align="left">I took lots of pictures so I could have some memories of today. I don't have any from the memorial service and I feel bad about that, but I would have felt strange taking pictures, too.</p><p align="left">I'm looking forward to being able to go back once the grave stone is placed (it wasn't there today) and spending some time processing everything. </p><p align="left">I had explained, to Ethan, a little bit of what was going to happen today. I described a cemetary as a place where people go to think about and remember their friends and family who died. Everything happened so fast today that Ethan wasn't sure what to think. But he did say something that was really sweet. We were getting ready to leave and he said, "I want to think about Grandma". He was really distressed that we hadn't talked more about her so I was able to tell him 2 stories about Grandma.</p><p align="left">The first thing I told him was how Grandma was so excited when he was born that she came to the hospital right away the next day and since she couldn't hold him right away, she printed off some pictures that Nathan had posted on our website and she hugged those pictures instead! The other story I told him was about how Grandma was supposed to bring Brian to work one day. She ended up making a wrong turn at a detour and getting completely lost. Brian had to call in to work to say that his "transportation was unreliable" and Grandma decided drive to Chanhassen to see us instead so she could spend time with Ethan. She thought that would be a good way to try to make it up to Brian!<br /></p><p align="left">Here are some pictures from today.</p><br /><div align="center"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5220458025214045090" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3mVs4hBAJ7zg6eA0WF84WdO42DOgxjHFOT_9EnCyZKMELjoDuJL9RN0R5J5l9-almTK41_pGHwAA2PekmJXxEHbLUp4a-hPFGKRv1HFeb91cfpo4HwSoU3pslyJMIZ3jNIGTb76YSFVo/s320/IMG_3676.JPG" border="0" /></div><div align="center">Some of the group gathered at Dad's before driving to Fort Snelling. </div><br /><div align="center"></div><br /><div align="center"></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5220458040130953650" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU0HKprOmmTMVpISpYtx3w0O9n-S1yxkO8m-BsSsl7oMr6po6K2CKrcmBEigj1HfUKkikXDGt9HiygoAY5X3McsRxjz0y8E6QUdMYOIja7R9rfWIrXiDUe4D4ELOr8dL7AmaYma8b172I/s320/IMG_3681.JPG" border="0" /> <p align="center">The Memorial Rifle Squad<br /></p><div align="center"></div><br /><div align="center"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5220458043417260882" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIjPJMmx61uwKroY45AheTYBaWn0yCI36N6RnMYqq4O0ozGdDyYku-Cb2tqyTePUYte8nwScSx6nlmn1VyFoM4HbNsQyvH84frCFC1QUSA0sAYgkI6Se4_8YHZS5OZtyu1l0NW6Li7fwc/s320/IMG_3683.JPG" border="0" /></div>This woman is thanking Grandma, "on behalf of the President" for Grandpa's service. <div align="center"><br /></div><div align="center"></div><p align="center"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5220458051719172610" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEwdTOPLl_hxkgX3VxAOE9r019yu2gOFuqJ7LV8GQfqzhdVWsC05eF7gHaJK6Le4lr8XFxyTXbj0m3uKUvItVTMhWkymCD_6b2kqZxD38lU8exFJPSCm3bRFCWrEqk2utPTz_rg4mZ9GU/s320/IMG_3685.JPG" border="0" />Pastor Bert leads the internment service.</p><p align="center"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5220458021099691906" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWaagCGT31BKhAPUiE6fCpPib96_r8N8E4RrBLULN6Jro7OZ1hbthkpIdqIZ2iPncT0wQMfvbUG1BNxXFWHtlJhpladDGTotBUXwachgRpyUnBvH6JJtVYZxeNmXHET7LVbFYGpMA9-uk/s320/IMG_3670.JPG" border="0" />Audrey and I hanging out at Dad's before the service.</p><p align="center"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5220459413762653410" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjj0XjNtvU4I_86tekeKcPYaOBJHKOI_iLi61URPoaER-VKPLqsZNzKQ64dNrjjkL-nPuPv-BPL1rTzuSgreoG_jPqdI_MULjjzfvAJCaUCksBqQiswXxrYr3YiXd55kJAeOjv8KLxvPYU/s320/IMG_3692.JPG" border="0" />Audrey and I with the posse.</p><p align="center"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5220459403459757650" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXmQr1RgvkTvFNcc4lVHWdWtvJo8Wy5OZKtcNi-OysR6-m0sDy_vXyZgM2FgY-wwXuSbOLlGAYwMDPFcPheXaZqD_EeRnyHxhrU7LBcnhnPw-42nKPdBTqZFHv4niJp_uN9Z9T6rJaFhg/s320/IMG_3689.JPG" border="0" />Mom's "homeys"<img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5220459407439954050" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYj4yQlnXnYj3TgYP2zaYFHs2sFt8NGr6b2ep0v-CwsUMBE9Bux4DbVUL7Z9SH3uLP39AZuYqqkumop-kW6IjRJ8UaWEXJrDbOUEeZjA1GFYaluqN2V9nbLWmfjxZCQnbLginavhWJdYk/s320/IMG_3691.JPG" border="0" />The family</p>Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01666146566253325603noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8971357061998804669.post-10348232449698710912008-06-19T12:33:00.002-05:002008-06-19T12:38:49.894-05:00July 7<a href="http://www.cem.va.gov/cem/images/cemphotos/894_ftsnelling.jpg"><img style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="http://www.cem.va.gov/cem/images/cemphotos/894_ftsnelling.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div><br /><p>We will be burying Mom's and Grandpa Rosenfelt's ashes at <a href="http://www.cem.va.gov/CEM/cems/nchp/ftsnelling.asp#gi">Fort Snelling</a> National Cemetery on July 7th at 9:00.</p><p>Through the end of the 2007 fiscal year, 176,567 people have been buried there.</p>Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01666146566253325603noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8971357061998804669.post-16191670488840361152008-06-10T13:02:00.003-05:002008-06-10T13:17:23.838-05:00Talking to MyselfWhile the kids were playing in the sandbox yesterday, I was listening to a sermon titled, "Spiritual Depression in the Psalms" by John Piper. Does it seem like I've been drawn to his preaching a lot lately? They are just so full of Scripture and God-centered. It's been good for me.<br /><br />The text was Psalm 42.<br /><br /><br />Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.<br /><blockquote></blockquote>That's just part of the passage. You need to read or listen to the whole psalm to get the full impact. Piper referenced a book written on the passage by Martyn Lloyd-Jones:<br /><br /><blockquote>Have you realized that most of your unhappiness in life is due to the fact that<br />you are listening to yourself instead of talking to yourself? Take those<br />thoughts that come to you the moment you wake up in the morning. You have not<br />originated them but they are talking to you, they bring back the problems of<br />yesterday, etc. Somebody is talking. Who is talking to you? Your self is talking<br />to you. Now this man’s treatment [in Psalm 42] was this: instead of allowing<br />this self to talk to him, he starts talking to himself. “Why art thou cast down,<br />O my soul?” he asks. His soul had been depressing him, crushing him. So he<br />stands up and says,: “Self, listen for moment, I will speak to you.” (Spiritual<br />Depression, 20-21) </blockquote><br />I've been hearing "self" tell me a lot of depressing things lately. It never dawned on me that I should talk back. Isn't answering yourself one of the signs of being crazy? :-) Since hearing that quote yesterday I've been thinking about how important it is to speak truth back to myself.<br /><br />Here's the <a href="http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/Sermons/ByDate/2008/2806_Spiritual_Depression_in_the_Psalms/">link</a> for some notes on the sermon and for your reading enjoyment. If you prefer, there's a link to listen instead.Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01666146566253325603noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8971357061998804669.post-10234129475203946152008-06-04T20:44:00.002-05:002008-06-04T21:09:56.841-05:00UnresolvedIn the days immediately after Mom died, I was so thankful that we didn't have a strained relationship that would leave me with a lot of regrets. About a month ago, I started to remember things a little differently.<br /><br />There was a period of time where my relationship with my mom was really strained. It was probably about 8 years. It wasn't bad all the time, but we had some really intense, emotional exchanges. In the interest of full disclosure, I need to take a lot of responsibility for it. The main thing that I struggled with was that I really wanted my mom to be proud of me. I felt like there was specific things that she had in mind for me to do and if I wasn't doing those things, I wasn't living up to her expectations. I put a lot of that on myself, but I would not be honoring my mom's memory by pretending that all of our issues were completely on my shoulders.<br /><br />Once I was married, things weren't as bad. I don't really know why. I wish I could ask her what changed that made things better. Did I change? Did she change? I so envy those of you who get to grow up as an adult and get to know your mother better as you learn how to be a wife and mother. You will have so many opportunities that I wont have. Most of you will probably have years to work though the mother-daughter strife that you've had.<br /><br />Dad was going through some of Mom's things about a month ago and he sent me a couple of letters that I had written to her. I'm sure he thought they would be something that I would treasure. I wonder if he ever read them because they were from some of the most strained seasons of our relationship. It brought back all kinds of painful memories. I'm still struggling with how to deal with it. I would give anything to hear her tell me that she was proud of me and that she trusted my judgment as a woman, a daughter, a wife and mother. I think she told me those things sometimes, but I want to be reminded because I'm starting to doubt it.<br /><br />Just a paragraph ago, I said that most of you would have years to work out your issues with your mom (or daughter), and a little over 4 months ago, I would have thought I did too.Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01666146566253325603noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8971357061998804669.post-51339556639722507582008-06-02T21:27:00.010-05:002008-06-02T21:57:45.394-05:00Plan BI've been so challenged by the story of Todd and Angie Smith. I posted a link to some of their story in an earlier post. I took the time to watch/listen to some of their story as they told it to their pastor at Crosspoint Church in Nashville as he was preparing a series called Plan B. The basic idea behind it was this: How do we deal with life when it doesn't work out like we planned or when God doesn't show up in the way that we hoped?<br /><br />The Smith's tell their story from the perspective of losing an infant daughter. This clip is part 3 of their interview. If you're interested in the other parts, they are parts 1a and 2b in the related video section. At about 4 minutes, 45 seconds in, the words Angie and Todd say really resonate with how I feel about losing Mom.<br /><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/rD_HmwjPm80&hl=en"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/rD_HmwjPm80&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01666146566253325603noreply@blogger.com0