I've been missing Mom a lot as I look forward to planning Ethan's birthday. She always made birthday's special. It just really reminds me of how much relationships mattered to her. Don't get me wrong. She accomplished a lot of things, but she spent the majority of her time and energy on things that would matter in eternity.
On to what has been annoying me-
1) Please let me talk about my mom. She's only been gone for 2 months. You can ask me about her, but, if you do, it would mean a lot to me if you actually would listen to my response and not try to change the subject as quickly as possible.
2) If I'm talking about the details of mom's passing, please don't question me on the details like I can't possibly be right. So what if I am wrong or my doctors told me something you disagree with? Do you feel better for pointing it out? I certainly don't.
3) If I tell you I'm feeling sad, please don't try to talk me out of my feelings.
4) Please don't assume that, because I have my kids with me during the day, that I don't need someone to talk to. I'm lonely.
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6 comments:
I'm sorry I didn't even ask you about missing your mom when we were in Georgia. It never even crossed my mind with all the confusion. But if I do ask, I will listen and I won't question things, although I don't know enough to question things anyway.
Chris
Big hugs amy. No one can tell you the right way to grieve. There is no one way that everyone follows. And as the holidays, birthdays and special days come, it hits harder.
I lost my mom 22 yrs ago and still out of the blue something will make me really miss her and ill start crying. I mostly can talk bout her know without crying but it still hurts.
And i lost mom when I was 11, so im aware IM missing more of a idealized figure or what I think mom would have been like. How much harder I think for you who had such an awesome mom who was in your life on a daily basis.
Feel free to come cry at my house too! We can cry together!
Amy, I think about you a lot. I've never dealt with the kind of loss you are dealing with, and don't even know exactly what words to pray. I don't even really know what to write now. It stinks when the wrong things are said, and I'm sorry that happens. Thank you for posting this. I forget that grieving goes on even after the initial shock/sadness.
Marie,
I may take you up on crying at your house!
Rachel,
Thanks for posting. I really appreciate it!
Chris,
Our time in Georgia was pretty full.
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