1. Some people that I didn't know very well before have been more understanding about the process of losing my mom than people that I've known for a long time.
2. It makes people uncomfortable so they don't ask me questions about my mom- even when given a perfect opportunity. For example, I had a conversation like this recently:
What are you doing tomorrow?
I'm going to Fort Snelling to bury my mother's ashes.
Oh.
That is seriously the only response this person gave me. People are so afraid of saying the wrong thing that they don't say anything. It's okay if you ask me about how I'm doing and I start to cry. It doesn't mean you did something wrong.
3. Sometimes, like right now, I want to run away.
4. My life has been completely changed and most people who see me have no idea.
5. In some ways, the more time passes, the sader it can be. This is especially true in regard to my children. I see them growing and changing and really miss my mom's presence in their life. I want to show her how incredibly smart Ethan is and how much Audrey has grown from a baby to a little girl. This is the change that has happened since January:
4 comments:
Its hard no matter what. And while time does ease the harder edge of the pain, it still hits in unexpected ways. My mom has been gone for almost 23 years and out of the blue something will remind me shes not here. That I have lived longer without her than with her.
Big hugs to you ...
Amy, I really don't know what it's like to lose your mom so I can't say that I understand how you feel but I am sad with you. Just know that you are in my prayers and that Audrey is a beautiful little girl. I miss you!
I miss her too. I cry. Monday mornings just aren't the same. I didn't realize how many times I called her. And yes, the hole does seem to be getting bigger. The hole in our hearts...I think it has to get bigger to lose some of the power of grief..the hole left by my Mom almost 3 yrs. ago is still big...but then I think that the reason it is so big is that they were so important to us....Your children carry your Mom's DNA and you will see her in them and that will bring a smile to your face in the future. They will carry not only her physical DNA, but they will carry her spiritual DNA and that is even better. I liked the verse Pastor Bert used ...Isaiah 57:1 "The righteous are taken away to be spared from evil." That really helped me. I did not remember reading that verse before. It is comforting.
Much love,
Vivian
I am a New York Times bestselling author working on a new book about mother-daughter relationships and thought you might want to contribute a story. Please visit my blog for information about being interviewed for “Mom's Little Angel.”
Gregory E. Lang
Author of “Daddy’s Little Girl,” “Why a Daughter Needs a Dad,” “Why a Daughter Needs a Mom” and more.
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