I read a lot of blogs every day. I subscribe to Google Reader and just add the ones I always check and I can see all the the new posts from all the blogs in one place. It's pretty cool. Anyway, based on the blogs I visit, Google also recommends ones they think would interest me. I've found some interesting ones through their recommendations. One of them today was praising God because they had prayed for the rain to stay away so they could film some outside scenes for a video.
I think it's great that they rain stayed away and maybe it would have even if they hadn't prayed. I'm just really struggling with accepting the way prayers are answered. I don't wish bad things on anyone or that they wont have their prayers answered, but the issues like not wanting it to rain because you're going to be outside, or for a free plane ticket or something that isn't going to cause you major pain or trauma if it doesn't happen- those are the things that frustrate me when I wonder why God chose allow my mom to die.
I'm not frustrated with the people who pray for these things. It just hurts when I think about not getting the outcome I desired. I know all the Christian answers about God having a plan and being able to use this situation for his glory. I believe it's true. I'm just not at the place where I understand.
I think I've mentioned some of this thinking before, but it's in my head again today so I thought I would share it.
Thanks for reading!
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3 comments:
It doesnt make sense, none of it. I remember thinking why did God take my mil(who adored being a grandma) and left me with a stepmom who doesnt want to be a grandma. It just felt so unfair and I remember feeling kinda frustrated by it all.
Big hugs my friend!
Amy,
Hi Sweetie! I totally understand your feelings about prayer. Well, I shouldn't say totally, because I haven't walked in your shoes. When my grandpa died 5 years ago, I was not in the country. He had cancer for a couple of years before this and he always pulled through. I thought God was going to answer my prayer that he would pull through while I was in Australia. Well, God didn't choose to allow my grandpa to heal. Instead he called him home, when I couldn't be there to say good bye or get any closure. I was literally half a world away. When other people would share what GOd was doing in their life I would get so mad. I felt like how could GOd answer that prayer and not allow me one last visit with my "Pa." Now, that it's been almost 5 years, I can see things a little more differently. I still feel sad and that I don't understand. I don't think I will even understand this side of heaven, but I DO know that GOd has a purpose and a plan for each one of us. I do know that He will choose to carry you through this. I know you've heard this a million times, but sometimes it helps to hear it a million and one times. Please know that I am praying for you, and you are on my heart a lot, even if I don't see you very often...
Love you and lots of hugs being sent your way!
Jen Van Haften
Thank you Marie and Jennifer!
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