Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Learning

I'm learning (or starting to, anyway) so many things right now. . .
I have a lot on my heart so this will be random and I'll post it on both sites. Sorry for the redundancy, but I'm not sure where to put it.

I have an ugly tendency to get myself worked up about things that I have no control over. Most of it has to do with my expectations of other people. While it's true that other people's actions and decisions can hurt me, the fact is, that in most situations, I may be able to do nothing about it. And the best thing I can do it just work on my own attitude. I've been convicted lately, that, instead of being frustrated about other people's choices in regards to their marriages, finances, and family relationships, I need to pray about my own life and work on these issues in my life.

I have had some very ugly "mommy" moments lately. Sometimes when Ethan refuses to obey, I completely lose my temper. This isn't behavior that my parent's taught me, it's something I seem to have picked up on my own. I need to stop and I need your prayers and encouragement so that I can. We had a situation that just happened today at lunchtime and I really messed up.
I didn't know that being a mom would be so difficult. I didn't know that I would feel so alone.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I feel for you..been there...done that. I would guess that there is more than one Mom out there that would say very compassionately, "Welcome to Mother-hood !" I have always said that we learn more from our children than they learn from us..especially about ourselves. It may not "feel" good...but it is a good path to be on..one of learning. I have on occasion told God that I was tired of learning..but He didn't pay much attention to that. Because He is more interested in our character than our comfort...as Beth Moore says. I think she is right. I also know that God always has our best interest at heart....even when it doesn't feel like it. It has been profitable for me to learn who I am and who God is in a much fuller way. As I press into the process a little bit more of transformation occures...and I see how much He loves me. He loves me as I am...however, He loves me too much to let me stay that way ! I guess it is called growth. I saw a title of a book once that read: Change is inevitable; growth is optional. I have come to choose growth...but not without pain. My Grandfather used to say when he was in his 90's..."When you are too old to learn..you are just too old." I believe he was right.

Much Love and Blessings,
Vivian