The kids are back from spending the Saturday day and evening with my Aunt and Uncle and cousins. It was a nice break, but Audrey had a little cough before leaving and now she's hacking a lot. It probably would have happened anyway.
I was apprehensive about the weekend. The offer to have someone take the kids was nice, but Nathan is home on the weekends so it's not usually a stressful time for me. I decided that Nathan needed the break. It was nice for him to not have any responsibilities. But I'm back to reality tomorrow.
Monday is looming and I'm sad, frustrated and angry. I've been praying that my kids would be/stay healthy. This is something that is a huge deal to me right now. I'm afraid that the things that I pray for that will make the biggest impact on my ability to cope will be unanswered or answered with a "no".
I have no faith right now. Could someone who has some please pray that my kids would be healthy and be able to get the sleep they need to stay healthy? I know it's terrible to say this, but I don't want another circumstance that draws me in closer to God? It probably shows my lack of knowledge. It doesn't seem like He cares.
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5 comments:
Testing the comments for Vivian!
Alright, Vivian, this is how you can post:
Type your comments in the "Leave your comment" box. Fill in the word verification box below where it says "Type the character you see in the picture above". Click on "anonymous" and click on "publish your comments".
Easy as pie!
Amy
I've been praying for your kids! Hope they are feeling well and behaving like angels :)
Thanks! See you can teach an old dog new tricks. It was the HTML tags, and Identity spaces that messed me up...along with other things I'm sure.(No comment please about the "identity" part..hmmm) My 90 year old Grandfather used to say. "When you are too old to learn...you are just too old !" So thanks for the help..
I hear the weariness in your words...Being a Mom is rewarding and wearing...It is complex. There is no love like a mother love, however many times it would seem that it is called to give more than is there to give....but God in His infinate mercy does give us the love to give our children & the care they need...even when we don't feel like it.
I am going to do for you what your Mom and I used to do for each other. I think you will like it when you get the hang of it. Your faith is still there but it too is tired and it doesn't feel like it is still there...so just don't "try" to have faith, don't worry about not having it, don't "should" your self to death...just REST...BECAUSE, I am going to hold your faith for you temporarily. I am going to pray for you and believe for you and have faith for you...so don't even think about it...you hear??? Just rest. REST. Then when you are refreshed, I will let go of it and you can nurture it out of a rested soul. Now, I know this may sound a little "sketchy" but what do you have to lose ? Your Mom held my faith many times especially during 1999-2003. It was a real blessing to me..and I have held hers. That's what friends do. The scripture says...where 2 or 3 are gathered together, there I am also.
I will pray for the health of you precious little ones...but since we live in a fallen world where there is sickness etc.. I will pray for strength,refreshment,
and joy as you continue to raise your children whether they are sick or well. And I will also pray that you will continue to grieve well...and not rush the process. Amy deserves the time to grieve well. Be kind to Amy. OK?
Much Love,
Vivian
Amy, you have expressed so well what we all go through at times, but isn't really talked about. Thank you for doing that. It is hard to admit, but we all have times when we don't want to pray because we know that one of God's options is to say "no" and we know that we just couldn't take a "no" at this point. So we just don't ask. I am reassured by the fact that God's love for us does not depend on our asking for it. He loves us just the same. Our acknowledging that He is our Source of so many things is almost more for us that for Him. Remember, He has and is everything, so He doesn't really need us for anything. He allows us to serve him, etc. but that is another topic entirely. The point here is that He does not withhold His love simply because we don't ask, just as we don't withhold things from our children just because they don't ask. We pour our love out on our children, even when they don't deserve it. God will give you everything you need. But I know that sometimes He doesn't give us what we think we need or in the manner we want or with the timing we expect. So life is hard. But we get through it, then look back and say, "Wow, God really helped me through that." Because no matter what our emotions are telling us, our faith goes all the way to our brain and we know that God is there even when we don't feel it.
Chris
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