Recovering Legalist

I had a powerful revelation this week.

I think I'm in recovery from legalism.

I mentioned in a previous post how, for a long time, I've felt numb when it comes to Bible Study, retreats, and church in general. From the time I was young, I did everything that a good Christian was supposed to do. God used the situations that I was in to make me who I am. And my experiences in a Christian school, church youth group and a Christian college taught me a lot of important things, but it also contributed toward my focus being on "doing" things to be a "good Christian" rather than focusing on drawing nearer to Christ.

I started to view Christianity in a very non-Biblical way. I defined it based on how someone was dressed, what kind of music they listened to, how they raised their children, how they voted. . . That outward focus can too easily lead to feelings of self-righteousness. I've been on a journey of learning that a lot of those things aren't where God puts his priority. And, if for some reason, God chooses to convict me of something specific, it doesn't mean that I need to make sure that everyone else has that same conviction. I just need to be careful that my convictions are coming from God and not something I've just adopted from someone else's opinion.

God's purpose for us is to have an intimate relationship with Him. Isaiah 43:10 says, "You are my witnesses," declares the Lord, "and my servant whom I have chosen, so that you may know and believe me and understand that I am he. Before me no god was formed, nor will there be one after me" Getting back to spending time studying God's word and praying, for the purpose of having a more intimate relationship with my creator, is causing me to come alive. That probably sounds corny. That's where I am right now.