Hypochondria?

13 years ago, When I heard that my mom was going to have heart surgery, I wasn't that concerned. I don't know if I didn't understand that she was actually experiencing heart failure or if my parents just did a really good job of downplaying the situation. I wasn't nervous until one of the doctors came to tell us that she was on the heart pump and that everything was going well with her surgery. That's when it hit me that she was having HEART surgery. That's a pretty serious thing. She came through it fine. I never gave it another thought. After surgery, mom was, in her words, "not a good candidate" for surgery since she had to be on blood thinner once she had the mechanical valve. I never once thought that would be a problem. I guess Mom and Dad were wondering lately how long the mechanical heart valve was supposed to last. I didn't know that. I thought she was set for life. I never worried about her health.

I've never considered myself a hypochondriac, but I've been losing sleep worrying about my health since Mom died. I had my cholesterol tested at a health fair about 5 years ago and it was high. I never followed up on it. The several physicals I had since then, I wasn't at an age where it would have been standard for them to check my cholesterol. I should have told them to test it. I had my blood pressure tested at the drug store earlier this week and it was in the "prehypertension" range. I know I have been under a bit of stress that might be impacting this reading, but it's still on my mind.

Finally, and most concerning to me, I have been told that I have a heart murmur. I've never been told that it's anything serious, but it scares me. That's what Mom had. It was because her aortic valve wasn't working properly. Before she had valve replacement surgery it had calcified down to the size of a pencil eraser. It's supposed to be much bigger. I always downplayed it to my doctors when talking about my family medical history because I thought Mom had said she thought it was due to getting scarlet fever as a child. Within the past year, though, she told me that she wasn't sure that was the case. If it was something that was congenital, than it is certainly something I need to take seriously.

Please pray that I wont be fearful. I need to schedule a physical and ask my doctor what she thinks about my situation. I would suspect and ask that she was do some further examination of my heart to make sure we all know if there are any issues that we need to be aware of. Whether it is rational or not, I'm really very frightened right now. Please pray against that and pray that my heart is perfect!